Discouraged
by Clue Impaired
Summary: After Untethered, before the next new episode.


**Discouraged**

Bobby Goren just sat down on the bench in the middle of the park and stared. He wasn't seeing the people walking along the sidewalk talking, the kids playing ball without a care in the world, or the older couple sharing a lunch a few benches away.

He was seeing his family the way an outsider would see them. His father with barrels of charm at his disposal when he wanted something from you and then morph into an angry monster when things didn't go his way, his mother who was such a wonderful, loving, intelligent woman one minute then a terrifying, crazed terror the next, and Frank all the charm, smart and drive to get rich by lying, cheating, and conniving to get what he wanted without doing a bit of work for it and when he got money he spent it on booze and drugs. What a mess. How could he ever expect to be normal? How could he ever expect anyone to love him or respect him when he was from such a zoo?

No one would ever see the tender smile his mother had given him when he'd given her flowers he'd picked in the woods or the read the book to her she wanted to read but couldn't because the light hurt her eyes and he'd read it until his voice was hoarse, reading words he didn't know because they made sense to her until she'd fallen asleep. The times he'd made dinner for his father and Frank because Mom couldn't get out of bed, they'd eaten everything and he'd had to have peanut butter and jelly because that was all that was left in the house. He'd tried to make things better, but it hadn't been enough. Never enough.

Now his nephew, Donny, was out in the world all alone and he had to try to find him, but it was such a huge world. How was he ever going to find him? He had to try. He had to put all his mind to the task. Donny alone might be all that was left of the Goren line to carry on and he had to do all he could to make it easier for him.

He hung his head, wanting to cry, but crying never made anything better, he'd heard it his whole life. Sometimes with a blow to the back or the head and a harsh voice. Now he couldn't cry. It just wouldn't come out. Crying wasn't going to get his job back, or make up to Eames for all the trouble he'd caused her, or make Ross go easier on him, or make the Chief of D's turn into a nice guy and it sure wouldn't help him find Donny.

He was tired. More tired than he'd ever thought he'd be. The cold wind was starting to seep into his clothes even over the heavy clothes.

Someone came to sit next to him. Someone gave him a cup of coffee. Someone who smelled suspiciously like lavender, who gently put a hand on his head and gave it an affectionate rub. "I've been looking for you." Alex said softly.

"Why?" he asked dully.

"Because Ross told the Chief that we needed you back. That if he didn't want you to tear the entire city apart looking for Donny, he needed you back on the force where we could keep an eye on you."

"No, he didn't."

"Yes, he did. I was there when he said it. The Chief is screaming because he wanted something done about a case and no one can crack it but you. Ross told him that and a lot more. So as of Monday you're back partner. 100. Unless you don't want help finding Donny."

Bobby lifted his head to look at her, looking for reassurance. "You want to help me look for him?"

"Of course I do. Bobby, I care for you, I always have. We're partners. When you need help I'm there for you, it's what partners do. You taught me that. Now the very first thing we're going to do it take you home and get you warm. You can't come back to the job if you have pneumonia. Let's go."

"I'm not cold. I'm just…."

"Then let's go back to your place because I am. Make me some of your delicious chicken soup, and let's start planning where we're going to look next for Donny." She stood up and he unconsciously copied her movement.

"I'm going to bring you more trouble." He said bleakly.

"Probably the same amount I'll bring you. We'll get through this together. Just like always. Now move it, partner."

A small smile at her bossy tone crept onto Bobbys unshaven face. "Okay, partner." He followed her toward the waiting vehicle and back to the NYPD.

Complete


End file.
